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/u/shroomsimp
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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and I’d really appreciate respectful perspectives.
For a long time, I’ve wanted to wait until marriage for both religious and personal reasons. At the same time, I’m trying to be realistic about modern dating, and I feel a bit torn. Before anything else, I want to say clearly: I respect everyone’s choices. I don’t judge anyone who doesn’t wait or who has different beliefs—everyone has the right to make their own decisions about their body and their life.
For me, though, this has always been important for a few reasons.
First, my faith plays a role. But beyond that, I genuinely feel like physical intimacy can sometimes cloud judgment. I really value emotional and spiritual compatibility, depth, and truly knowing someone—and I worry that introducing the physical side too early can make it harder to see the relationship clearly.
There’s also the emotional aspect. I’m not saying everyone forms some deep “soul tie” with every person they’re with, but I do believe sexual intimacy brings people closer. For me personally, it’s hard to imagine getting that close to someone without a strong, committed foundation. I know even marriages can end, but I feel like I would be much more at peace if that level of closeness happened within a committed partnership like that.
Another big factor for me is pregnancy. I’m personally not comfortable using hormonal birth control, not because I judge anyone who does, but because of how I feel about the potential side effects for myself. While I’m okay with other methods, I still feel like the risk is there. And for my own life, I’m not open to abortion. Again, I fully respect that others feel differently this is just my personal boundary.
Because of that, I can’t separate sex from the possibility of having a child. And it’s hard for me to understand how people feel ready to take on that level of responsibility so early in a relationship. I know marriage isn’t a guarantee and things can still go wrong, but it does feel like a stronger level of commitment one where, if something did happen, I would feel more secure and at peace bringing a child into that situation.
At the same time, I’ll be honest: I do feel conflicted. It seems like most people today aren’t willing to wait- not even until marriage, but even until a relationship is deeply established and clearly heading toward long-term commitment. And that makes me question myself.
So I guess what I’m really asking is:
Are these valid reasons to want to wait or at least to wait until a relationship is truly serious, committed, and stable?
And how do you navigate this when it feels like the dating culture around you moves much faster?
I’m genuinely open to hearing thoughtful perspectives.
submitted by /u/shroomsimp
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For a long time, I’ve wanted to wait until marriage for both religious and personal reasons. At the same time, I’m trying to be realistic about modern dating, and I feel a bit torn. Before anything else, I want to say clearly: I respect everyone’s choices. I don’t judge anyone who doesn’t wait or who has different beliefs—everyone has the right to make their own decisions about their body and their life.
For me, though, this has always been important for a few reasons.
First, my faith plays a role. But beyond that, I genuinely feel like physical intimacy can sometimes cloud judgment. I really value emotional and spiritual compatibility, depth, and truly knowing someone—and I worry that introducing the physical side too early can make it harder to see the relationship clearly.
There’s also the emotional aspect. I’m not saying everyone forms some deep “soul tie” with every person they’re with, but I do believe sexual intimacy brings people closer. For me personally, it’s hard to imagine getting that close to someone without a strong, committed foundation. I know even marriages can end, but I feel like I would be much more at peace if that level of closeness happened within a committed partnership like that.
Another big factor for me is pregnancy. I’m personally not comfortable using hormonal birth control, not because I judge anyone who does, but because of how I feel about the potential side effects for myself. While I’m okay with other methods, I still feel like the risk is there. And for my own life, I’m not open to abortion. Again, I fully respect that others feel differently this is just my personal boundary.
Because of that, I can’t separate sex from the possibility of having a child. And it’s hard for me to understand how people feel ready to take on that level of responsibility so early in a relationship. I know marriage isn’t a guarantee and things can still go wrong, but it does feel like a stronger level of commitment one where, if something did happen, I would feel more secure and at peace bringing a child into that situation.
At the same time, I’ll be honest: I do feel conflicted. It seems like most people today aren’t willing to wait- not even until marriage, but even until a relationship is deeply established and clearly heading toward long-term commitment. And that makes me question myself.
So I guess what I’m really asking is:
Are these valid reasons to want to wait or at least to wait until a relationship is truly serious, committed, and stable?
And how do you navigate this when it feels like the dating culture around you moves much faster?
I’m genuinely open to hearing thoughtful perspectives.
submitted by /u/shroomsimp
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...