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/u/NotoriousM0N
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I say this as compassionately and empathetically as possible, as someone who was in dire straights in a lot of ways, and is now slowly climbing out of some of the worst pits life has to offer. It sounds basic, but I was blaming anything or anyone else that I could for most of the bad things in my life.
When we experience difference/discomfort between how we actually act and who we believe ourselves to be (cognitive dissonance), the default response is to ease said discomfort by justifying our actions or shift blame rather than accepting them for what they are and adjusting going forward. To do so means accepting we are not perfect, can be hurtful, etc and that in and of itself hurts our feelings. But I do truly think if we learned to be able to sit with hurt feelings more often, our lives could be so much better. This is my experience, but also what I’m realizing about most people.
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When we experience difference/discomfort between how we actually act and who we believe ourselves to be (cognitive dissonance), the default response is to ease said discomfort by justifying our actions or shift blame rather than accepting them for what they are and adjusting going forward. To do so means accepting we are not perfect, can be hurtful, etc and that in and of itself hurts our feelings. But I do truly think if we learned to be able to sit with hurt feelings more often, our lives could be so much better. This is my experience, but also what I’m realizing about most people.
submitted by /u/NotoriousM0N
[link] [comments]
Continue reading...